My Days Are Numbered!!

OK, so I'm only what, 4 days away from the Big Day? The plan is to be induced on Thursday if I don't go into labor on my own before then. I feel like it's never going to happen, but then I look at myself and realize SOMETHING has to happen. Is it possible to get any bigger?

When I pass a mirror I can't help but be amazed that my body is really growing another person. I stare at my shape and try to imagine a baby all tucked up with real fingers and a little mouth... I am dumbfounded at how my body knows how to do this. To build a perfect baby, while I go about my daily routines. I can only imagine how scary it might be if the baby DID depend on me to think through how to put him together. Total miracle.

Sometimes I have some weird fears about carrying a baby though:

1) When I swim I feel like I might be drowning him by keeping my belly under the water so long. However, I do realize that they are IN water. Which leads me to my next fear.
2) What if the baby is getting moldy? I mean they are in the water for so long! I also realize that their surrounding amniotic fluid exchanges frequently, but I can't rid myself of the thought.
3) I also worry about bringing a baby onto the stage, albeit in utero, while we are recording with the choir and orchestra. The quiet parts have to be deadly quiet! Everyone is thinking "please don't let me make a sound!" but do they have a BABY with them?? You'd think my phobias about the water would help me realize the baby does not breathe air and thus cannot cry.
4) How in the world can they hang upside down for so long and not get a head rush? I almost feel like the kind thing to do would be to stand on my head so he can get some relief from being upside down. I just can't figure out how to get into that position.
5) Benson was born with so much hair and it was really long, nearly 2 inches! It takes me about 9 months to grow hair out 2 inches, so maybe some babies like Benson have hair starting to grow beginning at the first cell! Kinda weird. I'm just sayin'.

Am I ready for this baby? Two trains of thought:

A) Well, I have all the gear ready... all laid out and organized and the girls and I have had our share of squeals over the cute little booties and outfits he'll be wearing. (so spoiled). The car seat is buckled in so we can see how it will feel like to have the baby with us. Did you know we completely fill our Suburban now?? Every seat. I have frozen meals ready for crisis nights and Michael will have a week and a half off of work to help while we settle into a new routine. I sniff baby lotion regularly (is that bad?) as I long for the sweet smell of a newborn.

I think we've finally settled on a name. It hit me late one night and I just knew it. For me, it is important that there is a strong feeling that we have chosen the name he is supposed to have. Not telling, you'll have to wait until the announcement!!

B) Other train of thought. I'm not ready!! How can you possibly be ready for such a life changing event? My perspective on what it means to bring another person into your heart for a lifetime has changed considerably as I've experienced my other children. Each one needs so much from you and has so much to give to the world in their own way.

I never thought I would have six children. After my first, I couldn't imagine how anyone could manage more than one! Thank goodness I'm not doing this alone-- I have Michael as a wonderful helpmeet and God is here to help us accomplish this seemingly impossible task. God has a lot more faith in me than I do, so I'll lean on that for awhile.

So while my days are numbered.... I look forward to experiencing this miracle, this little boy who insisted on joining us no matter how late. Wish me luck getting him here. We love him already.


P.S. I packed a treat in my hospital bag, and Jackson told me it's only for if I don't say "ow". I'll try not to, 'cuz I really want my treat.