The Most Wonderful Time of the Year- - no, really

Christmas is pretty much here.  Santa's workshop is going full speed ahead, but I must say it is far more magical being an elf than I ever expected.  That is, if you define magical as being up late at night and having hallucinations that you finished projects.  And I'm pretty sure some serious magic needs to happen in order to pull this thing off.

But we are having a grand time blasting our Muppets Christmas CD  (HINT HINT to future choir guest artist choosers) and keeping our blood sugar levels at a comfortable high.

Today's list:  take out neighbor gifts (remember the mini-smores?  we made KITS... now you wish you lived by me, huh), find a missing present that's driving me crazy, film the kids for some projects (to be disclosed latah), and entertain a party for a dozen 14 year olds.

This is so much more fun though, than cleaning bathrooms and doing laundry.  That is SO next week.

Merry Christmas all.

Roll out the Red Carpet

Did you know my sister is coming today?  For 3 days.  I am ec-STAT-ic.  She is coming up to be in the winter scene of the movie my family and I were in as extras this summer.  We're practically movie stars, you know. 

Speaking of stars.  Next week.  David Archuleta. 

This Hollywood life is slightly inconsistent with the pop-tart stuck in the carpet.

Musician humor.

Ward choir practice today.

The director wants the final chord to change from minor to major.  You know, a happy ending on an otherwise sad sounding song.

ANYWHO.

I confidently throw out, "That's called a Piccadilly 3rd.  Resolving a minor song in a major key."

Immediate responses:  "Of course you are a brilliant musician and would know that!"  "Wow we got a music genius back here!"

I maybe gloated a little.  Pretty sure no one else even knew that. 

A tap on my shoulder.  New girl on my right, whispers:  "I always thought it was called a Picardy 3rd."

Yup.  Picardy suddenly sounded much more familiar. 

Picardy, Piccadilly. Whatever.  It's all in how confidently you say it.  But new girl, let's just keep that to ourselves.  I gotta keep all the respect I can get.  (Which ain't much.  My brain is a little fried.)

The state of the union.

Yea-uh.  Wrapped up Amahl tonight, and the Messiah last week.  Which I broke my G string during.  Hold the jokes, please.  That's the lowest string on my violin and I had to fake play the low notes since I was audience trapped.  It couldn't end fast enough.  Hallelujah.

Tomorrow night, the First Presidency Christmas devotional.
 *insert pinching self since 6 weeks ago my neck and I were not best friends.

BUT, lest you think I am doing EVERYTHING....

I've skipped:
Festival of Trees
City Light Parade
Naps
Doing much laundry

I got the tree up yesterday and relived one of my childhood favorites of sleeping on the couch in front of the lit tree all night.  I love that.  I might have to do it again soon.

Three things I am grateful for:
1.  Shopping mostly done
2.  Music, a pillar in my life
3.  My new discovery of Diet Coke (before 5 pm only, lesson learned)

April Fool's.

April Fools Day may very well be the holiday that Josh LIVES for.

Josh, 14

He spends weeks walking around with a secret notepad taking notes in preparation for the BIG DAY.  I'm not kidding.  He loves it that much.  And with Josh you know you better plan for the worst.

At 5 am Michael and I woke to strange sounds in the house.  "It's Josh." I hear Michael say.  We roll back into our pillows with a shudder.

By 7am the ruckus begins.  I sort of know where to look for a few things.  Check the toilet for ketchup packages.  Yep.

"Mom, there's PEANUT BUTTER on the bathroom handle!!!"  Squealed one of the girls.  Uh, huh.  Of course there is.

If peanut butter is good, so is honey.  (Which dripped on the carpet and is still there to this day thank you Josh)

 Gotta love that the computer doesn't work.  Or does it?

 

Papa taught him the ol' kitchen sprayer trick.  The handle is already squeezed (with tape) waiting to be turned on to an unsuspecting mom.

 Now it gets even better.  I think this was the sound we woke up to at 5 am.  Duct tape being pulled.  Across the hallway-to-the-bedrooms door.  Nice.

What we didn't know was that duct tape was being pulled downstairs as well.  On Jackson.  While he slept.  Jackson woke up to this but I can't say he wasn't actually loving it, too.  Is this normal between brothers???

 
I had one little surprise for Josh, however.  The ol' eggshells in the shoes bit.
Two-shay.

He's not the only one that loves this holiday.  *insert evil laugh*

p.s. Suggestions for next year?  Givem up.  I wanna hear em.
oh, and p.p.s.  Please don't call Child Protective Services.

Catch Up

I wanted to include some forgotten pics and stories of 2010 before the year wraps up.

Today's installment:  January to March

My baby turned 1.  Cupie doll, right?

Jessica played in her first violin recital.

She was also one cute basketball star.

So was Papa.

Cheer Squad.

 We also froze while cheering Benson on (#54) in lacrosse.

 

Josh was named "Most Valuable Band Member".  

I had to agree, unashamedly.

Except he said he signed up to play loud sounds, not tiny cute notes.  He actually plays a wicked snare drum, too.

Tomorrow's installment:
April Fool's Day.  Someone's favorite holiday.
You don't want to miss it.

Itty Bitty Mini Mini

Do you wanna know the best family home evening treat EVER?

Get out your mini-marshmallows:

Find some chocolate chips:
(or in my case let them find YOU)

Grab a couple of Golden Grahams:

Roast your marshmallow over an open flame.  Like a candle.:

Isn't this so CUTE and TINY and WHITE TRASHY?

You might find you have a few boy scouts in da house improving on roasting methods:

Assemble.

Enjoy!  Serves 1.  Or more like.... Serves:  1 gnome sized person.

Proof of enjoyment by a local gnome: 

If you aren't size challenged and didn't find this dessert particularly filling, you might try another variation.

S'more nachos.

Invented out of necessity.

S'more 3 things I'm thankful for:
1.  Family Nights that end this fun.
2.  No one wore earplugs to family night this time.
3.  Portion control allowed me to eat like 5 of these s'mores on my diet.  Oh, I was stuffed afterwards.

Happy Belated Halloween

Once upon a time this zebra costume was made for Josh by me. 

And it lived happily ever after for 13 years until Alex.

M&M and Cheerleaders TOTALLY go together.

That long haired woman in the back is not me.  It's Michael.  Being a pirate.

Pumpkin Pizza?  Squint.  You'll see it.

It didn't just rain on Halloween.  It POURED.

Michael won a costume contest at work.  Maybe it was the homemade gun?

 Costume #2:  Batman Vader.

Aubrey costume #2:

I agreed to purchase a maid costume at the DI while under heavy sedation. 

She said she could hostess a meal and clean the house. 

On drugs that sounded awesome. 

Come Halloween I realized maybe she shouldn't be a "french maid". 

With fishnet stockings. 

So I made her a namebadge for "Merry Maids". 

Problem solved.

Did I mention that Alex loved the Vader helmet and wouldn't give it back to Jackson without a blood curdling scream? 

The ultimate VADER helmet/mask with VOICE CHANGER. 

Except we didn't have batteries so he didn't know it had a voice changer.

 Never thought I'd see Vader, a Merry Maid and Batman all in one place.

Don't forget that Grandma has the tradition of driving the older kids -this year the girls-  around until 10 pm for candy.  This time she upped it by also going to Walmart and purchasing more candy to put IN their candy bags.  WHAT?! 

(cheaters-  but what a memory!)

Alex stayed home with me and Papa to pass out candy.

Benson and Josh both attended cool Halloween teenager parties.

Michael took Jackson around. 

Michael Jackson.  (Not my favorite combo in a sentence.)

Anyway, Jackson got tired and asked if Michael could just go to the door for him since he was too tired.  He ain't dumb.

3 Things:

1.  Best quote of the night, Jackson:  "Mom is it time to go to Halloween yet?"

2.  Kids that sort candy.  Is that inherited or just what all kids do?  I know I did.

3.  NO SEWING this year.  Suh-weet.



Makin' Their Lists, and Checkin' Them Twice

Jessica and Aubrey this summer at the fountains downtown-

 soaking Alex with a little too much glee.

Notice the elf in yellow shorts behind them who should be sending their names to Santa's naughty list.  Pronto.

Christmas lists. The answers?  Never dull.  I was WAY off.

We've received 3 lists so far...

So, Jessica wants:
A Treadmeal.  (I loved the ironic spelling.) 
String Cheese. (hm.)
A puppy. (um, no.)
To be homeschooled.  (better look into why she's asking)
A homemade bedspread and pillow. (like, sewing??)
Pink motor scooter.(sorry friend)
A homemade and "waterproof clubhouse" for the backyard. (Basically a mini house. Where they can live.)
and.... drumroll.....
to adopt a 17 year old girl (so she can have an older sister who can drive her to go shopping)

Aubrey would like:
A treadmeal.  (what the heck?)
A trampoline.
Hanging swing from the ceiling in her room. (Ikea?)
A beach themed bedroom complete with sand instead of carpet.  Sleep on a beach towel. (Wow.)
A comfyer harp chair.  (what, like a lazy boy??)
Sheat things for the window.
Better clothes, like from Target.
A yellow smiley face shirt.
Percy Jackson series.
And most of all, a Big Clubhouse that is waterproof.  (and heated, thank you)

and Jackson, written by scribe:
Toy Story Toys

Scooter

Club House (again?  they must all be plotting)

and... wait for it......

A Chocolate Bunny  (really? maybe he has his holidays mixed up)

Oh. Kay.  I'm pretty sure none of those things are found in the "Jolly Old St. Nicholas" toy-ideas-portion of the song:

      "Johnny wants a pair of skates, Suzy wants a dolly-"  (BUZZER)

Heaven help me if Santa brings the 17 year old sister.

3 Things:

1.  Christmas is still a LONG ways off.

2.  I get to make Alex's list and he isn't asking for a "heated waterproof clubhouse".  *sticks tongue out*
3.  I may need to hire Santa to sit on THEIR laps and TELL them what they want for Christmas.  A little reverse psychology could be a good thing...

Cut the P.S.'s

Tell me if I crossed the line.

I emailed a blurb to the lady who makes the programs for church:

"We are in need of several musical numbers for Christmas. Please donate your musical number for the benefit of the world to Emily Rice at xxx-xxxx. If you have nothing to donate, please beg your friends to donate. All donations will be accepted.
P.S. We are sorry, we cannot accept tenor sackbut solos at this time because it isn't on the approved instrument list.
P.P.S The sackbut is a trombone from the Renaissance and Baroque Eras. Now you know."


Josh dared me to send it and then Michael just pushed send.  This might be the shortest calling I've ever had since I just got it last week.

3 Things:
1.  backspacing
2.  the ability to impress a teenager with a musical word
3. of course, "sackbuts"

Buckle Up, Buttercup

My sister Jennifer and I last month.  We talk almost every day.

We are 13 months apart, shared a room growing up and I tried to poison her once when we were little with bathroom products but I'm really sorry about that now.

Enter:  The Cycle.

November 1st through January 3rd.  

It begins with: free-thinking.  This is now through the next couple of weeks.

Stream of consciousness ideas of things to make for Christmas, events I want to hold, decorations I want to create, pictures and cards I want to send out...  this is the glorious part.  Knowing I have time on my side.

Enter:  no time on my side.

This usually happens in exactly 3 weeks from now when Thanksgiving sneaks up on me while I'm gazing at fall leaves and having Halloween candy hangover.  The very second Thanksgiving ends, you better be ready to go full speed ahead hitting the pavement at a pace you haven't seen since ....last Christmas.

I usually call my sister in full hyperventilation around Dec. 4th.  She tells me I can't do it all.  I shake down my list until only the big things settle and I feel better, like if I had a maid I JUST might be able to pull it all off.  My calendar is in quick-draw mode and bring on the diet Coke.

Enter:  even more no time. 

Throw in a couple of birthdays, a stake musical production, a Messiah performance, school concerts, Festival of Trees, Black Friday, a family reunion, a cousin's wedding..... I'm a plate spinner at the circus adding plates at a dangerous rate of speed..... spinning....balancing.....

And Christmas just isn't Christmas without doing the MoTab Christmas Concerts run.  At the end of the concert week though -the Sunday about a week before Christmas-  I come home and famously fall into bed with my coat and boots still on.  In a coma for 5-6 hours.

I wake up and I only have one week left.  Holy Majoly.

I KNOW this already.  I try to break the cycle before it begins.  Prepare differently.

I've developed a few strategies over the years, but I'm still looking for more:
1.  Shop online.  It keeps me out of the busy stores.
2.  Breathe.  I find breathing helpful.

Wait, that's it?  I can't think of any more?  No wonder I'm having problems.


Three things I'm grateful for:
1.  meals together
2.  a healhy back
3.  free long distance phone calls with my sister

I'll be BACK (say it Schwarzenegger style)

Thanks all for your support, when I've been had a pain in the neck.  I woke up with it a month ago....  -no glory- like from lifting a car off a child or anything.

Anywho, now I'm WAY better because....

1)  I've been going to physical therapy.  They make me feel gooooood.  Tomorrow I'm trying massage therapy.  I know, it's rough.

2)  I let people take pictures of me while fitting into an overhead compartment on an airplane.  Or maybe it was an MRI. 

Diagnosis:  2 bulging discs in my neck.

Look, I have a brain!  *claps for self*

And that white stuff on my back is probably not fat.  Probably.

The pulsating MRI machine got Suzuki violin songs stuck in my head, a distraction of sorts.

3)  I have home exercises and equipment to use. 

And what, pray hello kitty might this be?  Medieval torture? 

Pure dorkiness?  No, it's cervical traction.
The kind of cervical in your neck, ahem, thank goodness.

This handy device hauls my head up with a pully system using a 10 lb. bag of water... opening up my spine and relieving pressure on the nerve.  30 minutes a day, baby.

If I look a bit stoned it's because I actually fell asleep in it and woke up with less blood circulation in my head than is minimally recommended.

4)  I got to take steroids for 6 days.  A medrol dose pack that helps relieve severe pain and inflammation.  I was pretty much transformed into a powerful athlete overnight.  You may touch me now.

So my doctor says:

"After age 30 the discs begin to degenerate." 

I really don't think "30" and "degenerate" should be used in the same sentence.  It's just rude.  Boo.

3 Things:

1.  I got to wear clothes in the MRI, even though it can see through them.

2.  I'm cleared to play violin.  Me and Archuleta will rock Christmas.

3.  I think the doctor said unsaid I need chocolate every day to get better.

Primary Pro-Gram

Primary Program a few weeks ago.......

So proud of Aubrey, accompanying on the harp "Love One Another".  Her first public performance and she made it sound WAY TOO EASY.  Dang, she's amazing.

Totally memorized.  Gorgeous.  Made me teary.

Then I scanned forward to the final number.

Yeah.

I helped arrange a piece for strings/youth/primary and reluctantly participated (as a Primary graduate, mind you....)

But?

"WITH SPECIAL APPEARANCE"?  Well, La. Tee. Dah.  That might be a bit overboard in my own ward.

Oh, my sister and parents had a heyday with that.  Next thing you know, I'll be special appearing everywhere.... I'm thinking big, like Christmas with the Motab (wait, I already am.... note to self to put my name "with special appearance" in the program).

P.S.  The autograph was for my 4 year old niece who innocently asked me for it.  My family snickeringly sent her up to me after the program.  Har. Har.

I won't be living this one down for awhile.


3 Things:
1.  The harp stayed in tune with no ghost messages.  See here for that story.
2.  I didn't have to stand on the riser to play my violin.
3.  Who approved this program?  None other than MICHAEL.

Halloween and Drugs. Not the kind where you have to check the wrappers, though.

I'm dying with a pinched nerve/bulging disc in my neck.  The pain travels over my left arm and shoulder too, so I allow myself some happy drugs when it gets really bad.

The happy drugs are having a strange effect on my view of Halloween this year.

For some reason, Hallowen is hilarious.

Like everything is super funny when it probably isn't.

Exhibit A:  Alex with muscles.

Exhibit B:  My backlit microwave face. 

Who spookifies their microwave?

Exhibit C:  Coming home and finding chores not done.

That's not even funny on paper, but then it IS when you find your daughters outside instead swinging on the tire swing all dressed up as witches and they don't know you are home yet.

Exhibit D:  I'm laughing my head off, so to speak, at headstones.

I've been looking online to add to my graveyard and can't wait to make more.  Ones I love but can't use: "Phil McCrackin", "Helen Wheels", "Amanda Hugginkiss".

Exhibit E:  vinyl bats added all over my house.

Since why should bats make me smile? 

Since because I feel all homemakey.

BEST OF ALL

Exhibit F:  Monster eyes added to my house windows.

Glowing because I used tissue paper. 

My kids think I'm genius.  Maybe I am.

Add some teeth to the garage door.  I'm cracking up every time the garage door opens and the teeth chomp.

Chomp.  Chomp.

Happy Halloween, and that's not the drugs talking.

Three things:

1.  Candy instead of roses from the hubby.  He rocks.

2.  Getting an MRI and x-ray on Monday.  Hoping I can keep the x-ray for my halloween decorations.

3.  Physical therapy is a better option than at home where I want to chew my arm off because of the pain.

Cute Alex in a glow in the dark skeleton shirt. 

Wish I had one to wear on Monday to my x-ray.  But then that would probably be another super funny moment to me when it really isn't.

"Halloween is when insanity and sanity are on common ground." 

 I think that sounded deep and I made it up myself and looks important when you change the font.  I could be wrong about Halloween, though. 

That quote was definitely the drugs talking this time.