Dough What is Right, Let Consequence Follow

I love me some cookie dough.

But why does the world food board have to say blah blah blah about eggs and salmonella and blah blah blah it will make you sick?  Have I EVER gotten sick from cookie dough?  NO.  (Does the time I ate nearly the whole batch of snickerdooodle dough count? -because if it does than that is a tiny almost imperceptible yes but only because of obvious reasons, not eggs.)

Even the kids scold me for eating snitches.  Kids?  Don't kids naturally know about the goodness of cookie dough, not about foodborne illnesses?  Confession time:  once when they were all in grade school I didn't have time to bake cookies for their lunch, so I plopped big globs of chocolate chip cookie dough in baggies, and was voted best mom EVER.  Even their friends had lunch envy.  I have been known to do that a few times since to boost my ratings.  No one ever died, only of happiness.

Related side topic:  I have this kind-of-gross-fantasy about cookie dough ice cream.  If I sucked off the ice cream and just left all the little tiny balls of dough and formed them into a bigger ball.... would it really bake into a cookie?  I've never been able to eat the ice cream and not the dough chunks to try it.  I love a good treasure hunt in my ice cream.... can't..... resist..... chunks......

Related side topic #2:  My mom used to eat raw hamburger when she was a kid.  She liked it.  So you see, I was raised by savages and my raw cookie dough love is mild.

Back to the topic:  Okay, so imagine my-- what's the word-- (insert word that means shock, delight, and humor) when I came across this recipe for EDIBLE COOKIE DOUGH.  I mean, there is a market for those who prefer dough to the cookies themselves:  me.

Edible Cookie Dough

1 c. butter
1 1/2 cups brown sugar
1 Tbsp. water
2 c. all purpose flour
salt
2 tsp. vanilla extract
3/4 c. chocolate chips

1.  Assemble and premeasure the ingredients.  Set the butter out to soften at room temperature.
2.  Cut the butter into chunks (my favorite word).  Place it and the brown sugar in the bowl of a stand mixer.  Beat on medium until smooth and creamy.
3.  Turn off the mixer.  Add the flour, water and vanilla.  Blend until mixed well.  Add the chocolate chips while the mixer is running.  Continue mixing 15 to 20 seconds until the chips are distributed throughout the dough.
4.  Use a melon baller to portion the dough onto a parchment-lined cookie sheet.  Place the dough balls in the freezer until firm.  Store in resealable plastic bags and enjoy as a snack.
5.  Make cookie dough ice cream (be still my heart) by blending a softened pint of good vanilla ice cream with 10 to 12 dough balls.  Allow the dough to break up throughout the ice cream.  Store the finished ice cream in the freezer.

Tips and Warnings:
- for a lighter flavor, use half brown sugar and half granulated sugar.
- this cookie dough is NOT suitable for baking.  It does not contain all the ingredients necessary to produce a proper cookie.


HA!  Take that, anti-salmonella fear mongers!   I shall eat my edible cookie dough.  And you can't stop me now.