Setting: Family Home Evening
Plot: Trying to get the kids' input about family functionality. Assignment: on a slip of paper write 3 good things about our family and 3 things we need to work on.
Characters:
Josh... lit up at the assignment's possibilities
Benson... "why do I have to write good things, too?"
Jessica... task master and list maker, so this is right up her alley
Aubrey... hanging upside down on the couch writing
Jackson... "Can I draw my words?"
RESULTS
Family Strengths:
Both girls (did they consult each other?): food, shelter and clothes. (that's it?)
Benson: Alex is good at smiling, some people make juice (he and Josh make kool-aid a lot), and Jackson is fun to tease.
Josh: Cowboys. (random). People are trying not to fight. People are trying to make things funny. (he even had diagrams next to every item to spice it up)
Jackson: We have doughnuts.
OK..... that was not everything I hoped it would be....
Let's see how the weaknesses went...
Family Weaknesses or Things to Work On:
Jessica: We need more candy, we need to have our own rooms, we need sleepovers, we need to get ready and get to the car faster, and cool look I'm writing with my left hand. JESSIE
Aubrey: fighting, we have to do jobs, and people aren't good at sharing.
Josh: fighting, hyperness, and it's not that much fun. (ouch)
Benson: Work on not following around people who have friends over, work on not peeing on the toilet seat, and work on not saying "mom and dad says".
Jackson: Dad didn't give me my allowance EVER. (picture accompanying)
Can I start over? Seriously?
I pictured being a mom and having a family differently than it is sometimes. My MIL said that in regards to some things while raising a family, you rarely feel successful at the time but you see the successes much later. Hmmm. That sounds like a pretty big gamble, but it does give me hope.
That's why WE are the parents, because successful families don't just have more candy and keep the toilet seat clean. (But thanks for the input, kids.) My friend said it perfectly: we have ordinances that teach us to have eternal marriages and eternal families and we come home and often our attempts are almost laughable they are so far from that blissful picture. But we are trying. This is really hard work!
The results of our survey did make me laugh... I'm not THAT serious! I know we have plenty to work on and that it's a process. I just hope we come out of this on the other side like the Olsen Family or the Collier Family (or Laura Ingall's family)... families that LOVE to be together, laugh, tenderly look out for each other, and are the first in line to help where there's a need. I'm running out of time- 2 1/2 years until Benson graduates- and I feel like we are just making this up as we go. Sometimes I can't see the forest for the trees! General Conference gave me some things to chew on about strengthening the family. Wise friends, what are your thoughts??
9 comments:
As an outsider to your family I see strength in your children through their actions. I see it through their words. They aren't afraid to be who they are. The ability to laugh in a family is huge! Kids need to know they are okay with their parents and sometimes parents are too serious and don't laugh enough and love their kids enough.
Your words and your deeds (through your blog and fb) speak VOLUMES about who you and your family are.
Jenn
I just started typing my comments and realized that maybe it was a little too lengthy for leaving in a blog comment... we'll have to talk about: 1. What a wonderful mom you are 2. How great & normal your family is and 3. the panic attack I had while reading this posting...
Have a great day!
I forgot to say that I have loved learning more about your family through your blog. You guys crack me up! I always get a smile on my face when I get to come read a new posting here. I see a mom who knows how to laugh, who knows how to love, and who knows how to live. It shows in your children. :^> Love you! Jenn
It's always so interesting to me how people view themselves vs. how others view them. Yours is my shining example of a family that really has it together. I think you are doing a FANTASTIC job!!!! I love what they wrote. I also love what your friend said about the mountainous void between the hope and reality---unfortunately it seems to be my one eternal truth. :) I've been thinking a ton about family stuff, too, so it's all I heard at conference. I loved Elder Bednar's talk. {"he's breathing my air"}
My favorite thing about you and the way you're bringing up your family is they way you have maintained close connections with your kids, even as they grow up. 2 1/2 YEARS!!! Where's the pause button?
oh yeah em, PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE do a new blog background. okay, i know i'm ocd about changing mine but i really want to see something new on yours. k? i get bored easily, lol
I'm reading Rose Wilder's biography at the moment and may I say that you may not want to model your family too closely on the Ingalls family. Apparently, Laura was not a particularly attentive or affectionate mother. I know! Shocking!
Emily, the proof is in the pudding, not in the making. You will learn how you were as their parent when you see what your own children teach their children. You, dear daughter help me feel like somewhere in our job we did something right. However, there were times when I thought you'd never get it. I remember many a FHE where you and your sisters would have staring or burping contests, make smart remarks, flick things around and burst out in laughter over who knows what.
I believe the last thing you should do as a parent is to open yourself up for criticism from your children because you already give yourself enough. You don't need their immature observations.
Did you really think they would say awe inspiring things? If they did, you would think they were not being serious or were showing off. (Right?) Now if their teachers at church had them do the same exercise I bet the answers would be different.
You're doing a great job. As your parent and someone who knows you, I can say your family is a blessing to us. If you have to compare your family with other families, at least compare apples to apples (Which is impossible). Don't ask your kids how you are doing at your job, ask those who have been there, done that job and are enjoying their pudding.
Love ya,
Mom.
A few mindless thoughts for you:
How come it takes so little time for a child who is afraid of the dark to become a teenager who wants to stay out all night?
Always be yourself because the people that matter, don't mind. And the ones that mind, don't matter.
Emily,
All I can say is "enjoy it." Some things are hard to teach but these experiences pass by in flash. Keep this blog so you'll remember these times.
You and Michael are doing a great job. We are so proud of your hard work as parents.
Love,
Dad
Post a Comment